Simpsons Survivor
by Harry Homer
Summary: Very funny. Troy Mclure is watching all the auditions on Survivor with Matt Groening!


Survivor 12  
In the Galapagos  
  
Troy Mclure: Hi I am Troy Mclure you may remember from other survivors such as Destiny's Child, I was the cute one, or Gloria Gaynor, I played her too...right. We better redo that. Hi I am Troy Mclure your host on this hot new TV show I would like to introduce to you this years newest Survivor IN THE GALAPAGOS. We are going to read twenty applications from people that want to be on this Survivor episode we have Mr. Matt Groening down in the studio well lets go down there and take a peek. (he walks down to the studio) Hey Matt.  
  
M.G.: Hey troy listen to these 20 applications (the TV goes on and the videos start)  
  
Patti: (wheezing form cigarette smoke) Hello I am patti and KOFF KOFF I am so talented for surviving especially surviving smoking and I KOFF KOFF think I should be on Survivor. WHEEZ I really need some money for the smokes besides that. OK Bye bye.  
  
Troy: OK that was an odd video next is Patti's sister Selma.  
  
Selma: (wheezing form cigarette smoke) Hello I am Selma and KOFF KOFF I am so talented for surviving especially surviving smoking and I KOFF KOFF think I should be on Survivor. WHEEZ I really need some money for the smokes besides that. OK Bye bye.  
  
Troy: A duplicate tape with a different person all right next video please Matt.  
  
M.G: This next tape is a triple. Three people are in it. Lisa and Bart Simpson and their friend Milhouse.  
  
Bart: Um.... We are short on cash for our little project we are doing if we-  
  
Lisa: BART SHUT YOUR MOUTH I AM TALKING DO NOT GIVE IT AWAY UNTIL WE ARE ON THE  
  
Milhouse: We are taping Lisa  
  
Lisa: Uh oh, Ok.... Ahem Ahem Hello I am Lisa these are my friends Bart and Milhouse and they are with me wanting to join this years Survivor in the Galapagos. We truly want to see the Turtles and other animals.  
  
Bart: Bull sh*t  
  
Lisa: What was that Bart? Whatever and thank you for listening to this tape and using your valuable time Goodbye.  
  
Troy: How cute.....who is next Matt?  
  
M.G: A double tape and then one more double tape after that.  
  
Kang and Kodos: Hello and greetings we bring you peace.  
  
Kang: We are here and want to be on your show and we are not I repeat not doing this to find out your lifestyle to kill you in the early future.  
  
Kodos: Yes yes that is true all we want is the mon.....all we want is a fun time and we hope the show will allow us goodbye and thank you.   
  
Kang: Goodbye.  
  
M.G.: Now he next double is Frink and his monkey.  
  
Frink: Hey huh I want to do some scientific research on your sh....  
  
Monkey of Frink: Awooeeyao (kicks Frink in the balls)  
  
Frink: Oh the gleiven ow my gleiven......OK now stop that monkey! Please let me on the sho......(the monkey appears and the TV goes static)  
  
M.G. There are a couple more double tapes but I thought this was interesting.  
  
Apu: If you let me on your show I will give the winner 10 free Apu dollars and the producers or whoever it may concern 50 dollars. Thank you and call me and 1-800-survive oh and dial down the middle (he smiles and the video is over.)  
  
M.G: this is the worst video besides Patti and Selma here watch it. It is one of the weird doubles.  
  
Barney: Burp!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Moe: Shutup Barney I am going to do the talking AND BELCHING! Um yea right we wanna be on your survivor and if we go we want to know if alcohol is allowed.  
  
Barney: (singing wildly) Red red wiiiiinee stay close to meeeeee do....  
  
Moe: VIDEO CLOSED!  
  
Troy: (on the floor with laughter)  
  
M.G: (wiping tears from his eyes)   
  
Troy: I am curious who is our next guest?  
  
M.G: Mr. Burns and then Mr. Smithers (TV turns on)  
  
Burns: Hello my friends and I will pay you five million dollars to be on your show I really want to win that million.  
  
Smithers: Oh Mr. Burns five million is more then one million.  
  
Burns: Shut up Smithers! Oh and also he wants to be on the show too thank you and goodnight. (video zooms out)  
  
M.G: How about all four of the Flanders? Lets see their video.  
  
Flanders: Hey diddly diddly. We want to be on this Survivor.  
  
Maude: Yes we just decided recently and G-D told us in a dream that if we go on Survivor and get in the show the world will be happy.  
  
Rod: Yes  
  
Todd: So please vote us!  
  
Flanders: By diddly I.  
M.G: They got that and now I have homer...then a special mystery guest!   
  
Homer: Marge are you taping me yet?  
  
Marge: Yes dear start talking.  
  
Homer: DOH! I want to win a million please?!!!!! I never was on a survivor before.   
  
Marge: Stop it Homer your making a fool of yourself. If you stop I will give you a donut.  
  
Homer: MMMMMMM DONUT! Video Closed.  
  
M.G: The moment....I know....the big one you have been waiting for our mystery guest...IN REAL PERSON!  
  
Erin: Hello Hello Matt. Thank you. I haven't seen you for seasons! I missed all my friends at Springfield especially my best bud Lisa. I want to see her and hope we both make the show. Well I need to go. Bye.  
  
Troy: Well Matt those are the twenty applications: Erin, Homer, Rod, Todd, Maude, Ned, Kang, Kodos, Bart, Lisa, Milhouse, Patti, Selma, Apu, Professor Frink, Frink's Monkey, Burns, Smithers, Barney and Moe. Lets Read off the winners Matt I give you the honors.  
  
M.G: Of course our paying customers Apu and Burns will be there, Barney will need to do well without some beer for awhile and lay of the fats same with Homer. All four Flanders, Ned, Maude, Todd and Rod I want to see what G-D wanted. Last for me would be Bart. I give the other nine to you Troy.  
  
Troy: Ok, Aliens will give the show better ratings so Kang and Kodos are in. Also we need someone gay so obviously that will be Smithers. Lisa and Frink will be needed since they are smart. Patti or Selma will come but for the fact that Patti's tape came first Patti is in. Moe he knows something about food and there should be a cook. Milhouse is coming atop of he needs a social life, and last can I please have a drum roll please (drums start) the final person is ERIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
That's the end of today's episode goodnight!   
  
  
  



End file.
